Signs you might be a home health nurse....
1. You can walk into a absolute strangers home, get a complete (26 plus pages) medical history, check their bathroom, fridge, and bare bottom in 45 minutes.
2. You have ever rolled a patient over and found roaches in the bed with them.
3. You have flicked roaches off a patient's leg in the midst of wound care.
4. You can (and have) apply a wound vac to any anatomical location--as long as you have enough tegaderm and stoma paste.
5. You have used a coat hanger as an IV pole.
6. Directions to find your patient have included "turn at the big tree and then drive another 10 miles."
7. You could insert a Foley catheter unassisted blindfolded.
8. You have planned your visits schedule around which patient has the "clean" bathroom.
9. You plan your visits to the ghetto between the hours of 10am and 2pm while the drug dealers are in bed.
10. Maintaining a sterile field involves the added challenge of keeping the dog, cat, grandkids and previously mentioned roaches out of your field.
