Is It Worth It?

This was written by a friend named Chris. You can find his original posting here

Sun 8:04pm
On December 3, 2007 too many lives to mention were shattered. One was forever lost, the rest were emotionally spent. Why does such foolishness take place? Selfishness and pride.

I usually don't use my notes as a platform to "preach", today I have no choice. What is in my head must be put down. Learn from this.

We are all selfish and proud. You, you, you, and even you. I am selfish and proud. To many that may not seem like a bad thing. Right? I have reasons to be proud. Proud of my family, proud of my accomplishments, proud of my kids, proud of my parents, proud, proud, proud. Yet the Bible is clear that "pride goes before the fall." You probably don't think of yourself as selfish, but you are. You want, you need, you deserve, you, you, you. I am the same way. I want to play golf, I want to sleep late, I desire this, I deserve that, me, me, me, I, I, I.

So let me be bold. You deserve Hell. I deserve Hell. Thank you Jesus for not giving me what I deserve, BUT for giving me mercy instead.

This past week, I've lost control of my emotions twice. I don't like doing that. I wish I hadn't, but since I can't change the past, let me just apologize to all who saw me "freak out".

What could possibly cause such emotional demonstrations from me? My brother. My little brother who is going to teach you all a lesson.

On Friday, May 15, 2009 my brother was sentenced to serve 20 years in the state penitentiary for intoxicated manslaughter. I cried harder than I ever remember crying. I wailed so loud that I shook. There was a pain in the pit of my stomach that stayed for a long time. It still tries to show up. You know what? I wasn't even the person who hurt the worst. Two teenage boys and 3 siblings, of a man who lost his life surely hurt worse. I'll see my brother again. They never will.

The district attorney painted a vivid picture of how evil and horrible my brother was for this horrific act. The families of the deceased will probably only see him that way as well. But Mat is not vile and terrible. On one night in December he simply let his pride and his selfishness have their way in his life and now...was it worth it?

I've been a minister for over nearly 20 years now, and I've had a war inside of me for many of those years concerning, what many in the older generation call, "the demon alcohol". Let's be frank the Bible never tells us to not drink. It's not in there. In fact Jesus drank wine and Paul tells Timothy to have wine for his stomach. Whether or not it is fermented wine or not, I'll let the Greek and Hebrew scholars debate. The bible does say two very important things concerning alcohol though:
1) "Wine is a mocker and beer is a brawler; whoever is led astray by them is not wise." Prov. 20:1
2) "Do not get drunk on wine which leads to debauchery. Instead be filled with the Spirit." Eph. 5:18

When I was in my young teens I got drunk. It sounded like fun, but let's be real. It's not. Puking is not fun. Having no memory or hazy memories...not fun. Headaches all the next day, fun-less. If you are deceiving yourself with your pompous arrogant attitude saying something ignorant like, "Hell, yea it's fun." You're a liar and you know it. Being intoxicated and inebriated is no fun. So now at 36 I don't get drunk. I don't drink at all. Not because, "Christians don't drink", but simply because I don't need it. I don't need a beer to help me wind down. I don't need a mixed drink to help me have fun. And I don't need the grief that drinking in excess brings.

Wait a minute there, Chris. I can handle my alcohol. You're probably right. This time you can. But alcohol causes you to lose your inhibitions. If you've had a really great day or a really rotten day, you think you deserve just one more drink. And then your friends show up so you have to have one more drink with them. Then they feel bad for you or celebrate with you and you need one more drink. And then because you're arrogant enough to think that you can "handle your alcohol" you drive off and kill a man dismembering his body into three pieces.

Everybody thinks, "That will never happen to me." I'm just being hard because of what my family's been through, right? That is exactly right. No one. NO ONE, should have to feel what those boys, what my mom, I have felt this week. No one thinks it could happen to them...until it does. Do you "deserve" a drink? No you deserve hell. Do you "need" a drink to relax? Then you're co-dependent and need psychiatric help. You want...I repeat...you want a drink. You want TO drink.

Look, I'm not over the edge. I'm not saying ban alcohol. In fact if you drink one or two drinks in your home and you don't leave. There is nothing...NOT one single thing wrong with it. In fact I could have a glass of wine with my steak at home and I'm not breaking the law or sinning. But, and this is a big but, my kids see that, and whose to say if they can "handle" their alcohol. Or if their grandchildren can handle theirs.

If you believe you can handle it and you have no problems with a drink here and there, kudos to you. I hope you never experience what we have. I simply know this one thing for certain. If you never drink, you'll never drive drunk, and you'll never be convicted of intoxicated manslaughter.

One last footnote note. On the day my brother was sentenced, an aunt called with sympathies...she was already drunk.

Sophia's Heart

Many of you are familiar with Danny Gokey, one of this year's American Idol contestants. He created this website it honor of his wife Sophia's work. She passed away shortly before he auditioned for American Idol. Now that his Idol participation is over, he will be blogging on the website again. I wanted to share his Feb 11, 2009 posting with you. He shares a very important message that we all need to consider. It's the posting titled "Letting Go."

Here's the link:
Sophia's Heart

Yikes!

Early this morning, around 2:00 a.m. I went to the kitchen for a drink. I reached out to turn the faucet on, and this is what I saw:



It was about 3 inches long. I'm sure you can well imagine the disturbance that commenced. I screamed and ran down the hall yelling to my husband to Get up, get up, there's a poisonous creature in the kitchen! Hurry up before it gets away! He staggered down the hallway in a haze of confusion and alarm, trying to figure out what I was going on about.

Somehow the whole house didn't get woke up. He took one look and said, That's just a centipede. It's not even poisonous. I'm still hollering Hurry up and get it outside! Kill it! He slid it onto the flyswatter, walked outside and dropped it in the grass.

Now I'm watching everywhere for the creepy crawly thing to show up inside the house again. Why couldn't he have just killed it? There'll be no rest for me.

Do You Like To Blog?

It seems that everyone is blogging these days, including myself. You can find mine at http://stillwaters1965.blogspot.com/ Though some people blog as a form of revenue, I just do it because I like to write my thoughts on things, or share specific interests or links with others. I like it when other people read my blog and leave comments letting me know they enjoyed what they read. It would be nice to gain more exposure to my blog.

Attracting readers is important to build a blog following - a readership. One of the ways you can do that is by submitting your blog to various blog directories - a search engine specifically for blogs. You can find many interesting blogs to read, and subscribe to. Often when you provide a link to someone's blog on yours, they will in turn link to your blog on theirs. Over time, you can develop quite a list of followers.


Among the most popular blog directories, these are some of my favorites with the largest listings.

Best of the Web Blog Search http://blogs.botw.org/
Bloggeries http://www.bloggeries.com/
Blog Hub http://www.bloghub.com/
Blogged http://www.blogged.com/
Blog Catalog http://www.blogcatalog.com/
Globe of Blogs http://www.globeofblogs.com/
Blog Universe http://www.bloguniverse.com/
Boggernity http://www.bloggernity.com/
Bloggapedia http://www.bloggapedia.com/
Blogging Fusion http://www.bloggingfusion.com/
Blog Flux http://www.blogflux.com/
Blog Listing http://www.bloglisting.net/
Blog Explosion http://www.blogexplosion.com/

Electric Cars

Yesterday, one of these showed up in my neighbor's driveway:

A limited number of them are to be available this year, for lease - $850 month. Then they would become available for purchase in 2010.
This is said to be a fun but quirky little car. One example is that the battery takes up the entire rear end of the car, so it definitely won't seat more than 2 up front. I'm sure there will be alot of pros and cons pointed out about this car. I just think it's cute. It would be very practical for me to have one to toodle around town in. Only I want mine to look like this:

Laurie Heath Studio

I wanted to share this website with you. Laurie is an awesome photographer. Her pictures are beautifully amazing. Click on the following link: Laurie Heath Studio

I'd Rather Be Dehydrated

I'm sure everyone has heard about the plan to recycle urine into water on the International Space Station.
I read this on NASA's web page:


Space shuttle Endeavour is carrying two refrigerator-sized racks packed with a distiller and an assortment of filters designed to process astronauts' urine and sweat into clean drinking water.

The crew of the International Space Station will test the whole apparatus, but they won't drink any at first. Instead, they will take numerous samples and return them to Earth for detailed testing. After the testing is complete, controllers will clear the astronauts to use the fresh water in orbit.


I'm sorry, but nothing could make me drink that water. I don't care how much it is filtered, processed and tested.

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Stronger - Breaking Free Update

And I am happy to say that my heart is still growing stronger! I am so very proud that I am now 10 months smoke-free!!!! Yaaaayyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kind of Creepy

I was noticing the ads in the far right column on my MySpace home page. They are advertisements for things that I have recently typed in the search field on google. Spyware protection doesn't do any good for something like this. I hate that everything I do on the web is being watched.

My Friends, I'm Sorry

My friends, I'm sorry if I've seemed:

Uncaring,
Distant,
Uninterested,
Indifferent,
Mean,
Self-absorbed,
Unapproachable
Removed,
Miserable,
or
Sad.

I haven't meant to alienate anyone.
I've just been a little too wrapped up in my personal problems,
And I've forgotten to let my light shine.
It's been a little dim lately, but I'm working on that.

Sometimes I just need a little reminder that I've forgotten to respect myself.

I'm moving forward now.

My Struggles Make Me Strong!

Butterfly

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly
One day a small opening appeared
He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours
It struggled to force its body through that little hole
Then it seemed to stop making any progress
It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could
And it could go no farther.

So the man decided to help the butterfly
He took a pair of scissors and snipped off
The remaining bit of the cocoon.

The butterfly then emerged easily, BUT,
It had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings
He continued to watch the butterfly
He expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge
And the body would contract
Neither happened!
In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling
Around with a swollen body and shriveled wings.
It was never able to fly.

The man acted with well-intentioned kindness
But he didn't understand the consequences.
The restricting cocoon and the struggle required to get
Through the tiny opening, were nature's way of forcing fluid
From the body of the butterfly once it achieved it's freedom
From the cocoon.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life.
If nature allowed us to go through life without any
Obstacles, it would cripple us.
We would not be as strong as we could have been
And we could never fly
Have a great day, great life, and struggle a little.
Then fly!

Awesome Crackers!

I picked up a box of these at the store today, and they are awesome! One side is like the original buttery cracker, and the other side is like a pretzel. You gotta try them. They also come in cheddar flavor.

I Wonder Why He Is So Ungrateful

My son has been staying at a girl’s house for the last week or so, after we told him he could no longer stay here. He did manage to find a job a couple of days ago. Unfortunately, when he came home the first day from that job, the apartment manager told him he could no longer stay with his girlfriend, because he wasn’t on the lease. He called me that night, explaining what happened, and asked me if he could stay at the house until he could get it straightened out. I reluctantly said yes.

The next morning, I woke him up for work. He griped and moaned and said he’d get up in a minute. I went back 10 minutes later and told him the time. He griped louder. At 7:00 a.m. I told him the time and said if he didn’t get up right then he would be late for work. Well, he got up about 10 minutes later, pissed off at me because I wouldn’t leave him alone. Because he was late, I made his lunch, and some breakfast tacos to take in the car with him. No thank you, of course.

That afternoon, I went and bought him 4 pairs of pants for work, and some shoes. I also bought some bread, lunch meat, peanut butter, jelly, crackers, cookies, and a case of water for his lunches. Last week I bought him a new pair of tennis shoes.

I woke him up this morning at 6:30 a.m. He wasn’t happy about it - said he was going to sleep 15 more minutes. I reminded him that today I would not be making his lunch or his breakfast, so he’d better allow enough time for that. At 7:00 p.m. I went back in and told him the time. He cussed at me. I told him that I didn’t want him to lose his job. He lay there griping and cussing. I told him that I wasn’t going to listen to his mouth, and if he didn’t get up he would be jobless and homeless.

Now we really didn’t want him to lose his job, because that would put him in an even worse position for finding somewhere to live besides our house. He couldn’t be added to the lease at his girlfriend’s house, because of his police record. Walt went in and told him to get up now, and go to work. He cussed Walt out, got up, and stalked around the house cussing and calling us “mf’ers that can’t leave somebody alone“. This went on the whole time he was getting ready. Walt got pissed and told him that when he got home from work, he could come here and get his clothes and go. He wasn’t staying at the house tonight. He told him that we were just trying to help him, we’d done a lot for him, he was ungrateful, and that I didn’t deserve to be talked to in the manner that he talked to me.

He stormed out the front door, furious and cussing us out where all of the neighbors could hear. The mayor of West Columbia lives right across the street from us. There are several elderly neighbors that have known my family all of my life. It is so embarrassing to me for him to do this, and it’s certainly not the first time he has. As he passed our car, where Brianna was sitting waiting to leave for school, he pointed at her and started cussing her out. He got in his piece of crap car and floored it. We live on a corner lot. As he approached the corner, he floored it and flew into the turn. His tail end swung around and his car spun twice in the middle of the turn. The culvert that runs under the road is pretty large, and the drop off is about 4 feet. Somehow he managed to keep his car from flying off of the culvert. He then floored it and headed off in the opposite direction going about 50 mph on a neighborhood street.

So - our neighbors got quite a show. We were embarrassed and upset. Brianna was crying. I stood there thinking, “Where did I go wrong? What is wrong with this child? I don’t deserve this. “ I truly wished that he would have run off of the culvert so his car would have been un-drivable. It seemed that there should have been some kind of consequence for his horrible behavior. But that would have just caused him to stick around longer. I guess being told to not come back was just consequence.

After I comforted Brianna, and told her goodbye, I went back inside the house. I fully expected to get a phone call telling me my son had been in an accident. I didn’t hear anything, and he didn’t come by this evening to get his stuff. So I don’t know where he is, or who he’s staying with. I absolutely can’t let him come back here. None of us deserve to be spoken to the way he did, especially Brianna. The house has been so peaceful since he’s been staying with his girlfriend. 2 days back at our house, and it was full of turmoil. NO THANKS! I just can’t do that anymore.

Hurricane Education: What we've learned during Ike . . .

1. Coffee and frozen pizzas can be made on a BBQ grill.

2. No matter how many times you flick the switch, lights don't work without electricity.

3. My car gets 23.21675 miles per gallon, EXACTLY (you can ask the people in line who helped me push it).

4. Kids can survive 4 days or longer without a video game controller in their hand.

5. The Astros can’t beat the Cubs in Milwaukee especially when they don’t get any sleep.

6. He who has the biggest generator wins.

7. Walking around your home in the dark should be a new Olympic sport.

8. A new method of non-lethal torture- showers without hot water.

9. There are a lot more stars in the sky than most people thought.

10. TV is an addiction and the withdrawal symptoms are painful.

11. A 7 lb bag of ice will chill 6-12 oz Budweiser's to a drinkable temperature in 11 minutes, and still keep a 14 lb. Turkey frozen for 8 more hours.

12. There are a lot of dang trees around here.

13. Flood plain drawings on some mortgage documents were seriously wrong.

14. Aluminum siding, while aesthetically pleasing, is definitely not required.

15. Crickets can increase their volume to overcome the sound of 14 generators.

16. People will get into a line that has already formed without having any idea what the line is for.

17. When required, a Lincoln Continental will float - doesn't steer well but floats just the same.

18. Tele-marketers function no matter what the weather is doing.

19. Cell phones work when land lines are down, but only as long as the battery remains charged.

20. 27 of your neighbors are fed from a different transformer than you, and they are quick to point that out!

21. Hampers were not made to contain such a volume.

22. If my store sold only ice, chainsaws, gas and generators... I'd be rich.

23. Price of a can of soup rises 200 percent in a storm.

24. Your water front property can quickly become someone else's fishing hole.

25. Tree service companies are under appreciated.

26. I learned what happens when you make fun of another states' blackout.

27. MATH 101: 30 days in a month, minus 6 days without power equals 30 percent higher electric bill ?????

28. Drywall is a compound word, take away the 'dry' part and it's worthless.

29. I can walk a lot farther than I thought.

County should count blessings in wake of Ike

By Bill Cornwell
The Facts
Published September 21, 2008
That whistling noise we heard early last Saturday morning was a bullet grazing past our community and hitting Galveston. But for 20 or 30 miles west, we would be where Galveston is today.

I still have a list of addresses, homes that were still occupied by residents who ignored mandatory evacuation notices.

I was lead officer on Lake Jackson’s Fire Engine 5.

Our assignment was to drive a sector of Lake Jackson hours ahead of Ike. The information we were obtaining was for rescue and body recovery post-hurricane.

Thankfully, the list wasn’t required.

Even though we sit in dark houses and look out over debris-strewn lawns, we are the lucky ones.

If you still have a home, family and friends, you have no complaints.

When The Facts’ managers and I broke from our meeting prior to the hurricane, I told them to look around and take stock — “What you see now may not be here when you come back. Life will change.”

A few miles away that prediction came true. Galveston, Bolivar and points east took the brunt of Hurricane Ike.

My dear friend, Dolph Tillotson, publisher of The Galveston County Daily News, is facing the nightmare I envisioned for most of our county: Loss of basic services — water, sewage and power — grocery and retail disruption, commercial and industrial uncertainty.

With the exception of our battered friends in Surfside Beach and Quintana, the rest of our communities remain intact.

We are the lucky ones.

It might not seem so now, but we are.

Here are some positive thoughts:

I think Surfside Beach will recover and reinvent itself.

Perhaps this situation will bring the infrastructure the city needs to move forward.

Many laughed when our county officials called for a mandatory evacuation Wednesday.

Thank you to those who endured the criticism and made that call.

Our municipal leaders did an exceptional job.

They have worked nonstop and are the reason your basic services continue to operate.

Don’t blame them for your electricity woes.

Our sheriff, police, Department of Public Safety, emergency medical personnel and fire departments were out there guarding property, clearing streets, marking downed power lines and putting out fires.

In many cases, they went well above the call of duty.

Many of our local businesses, especially those selling building materials and groceries, worked off of generators to open as soon as possible to meet our basic needs.

Several local restaurants opened back up quickly to the relief of those craving iced tea and a hot meal.

Because of the lack of power, our neighborhoods have become more social places.

As we sit out in our lawn chairs and stop to offer each other help, many of us are getting to know our neighbors for the first time.

I could go on, but the point is we should count our blessings.

Brazoria County, its municipalities and its residents have done a good job in a tough situation.

We are alive, the power will come back on and this experience will have made us wiser and more appreciative of what we have.


Bill Cornwell is editor and publisher of

The Facts.

Copyright © 2008 The Facts

AFTER IKE

I was in the middle of writing another storm update on Friday around 7:00 p.m. when we lost power. It’s just been restored this evening, so I didn’t get to write any updates during the hurricane at all. We got lucky on this storm. There has been very little damage in town. Mostly there are lots of sticks and branches in all the yards. There are some downed trees around town, with 2 or 3 of them blocking the road. Businesses had minor damage, with signs blown around, or knocked over. I didn’t see any trees that had damaged roofs.

The wind picked up right around the time we lost power, just before dark on Friday. It increased in strength throughout the night, but never got really bad until around 2 or 3 in the morning on Saturday. I’m guessing the wind was around 70 to 80 mph with stronger gusts. We have a huge pecan tree in our front yard, and I fully expected it to drop a branch through the roof into my master bedroom. We only had 1 branch down in our back yard, and it was a small one. I saw no sign of debris flying around. There was very little rain.

The hardest thing we had to endure was sitting in a hot, dark house with nothing to do, and no way of seeing on TV what the storm was doing. I couldn’t wait for the sun to come up just so I could get up and get out of the house. There was a curfew in effect from dusk to dawn. Everything had wound down by the time the sun came up, so we were in the car by 7:00 a.m.

Next time, I’ll leave just so I won’t have to do without air conditioning or TV.

STILL WAITING

5:30 p.m. Friday, September 12, 2008

So far, not much has happened here today. The wind is blowing a little bit stronger, but intermittently. It has showered lightly a couple of times. Our city has issued a curfew from dusk to dawn, in anticipation of the idiots who would take advantage of an abandoned town in order to steal and loot. I’m not sure how many people stayed here rather than evacuate, but I’ve seen quite a few people out and about in town. The eye of IKE is still about 50 miles out from land, though the outer bands have already begun making landfall.

All day there has been footage on TV about the rising water in Surfside and Galveston. It began to rise quickly early this morning, and has continued throughout the day, still hours ahead of landfall. The enormous size of this storm means it is pushing a huge amount of water ahead of it onto land. Surfside is underwater. Bluewater highway is underwater. Galveston Island is slowly being flooded. This morning the waves were crashing into the seawall and spraying up into the air up to 50 feet. As the water bounced back off of the wall, it met the next wave coming in, and gave the appearance of the water boiling. Huge amounts of debris is washing up onto the seawall, made up of trash, seaweed, wood from the piers, pilings, stairways, etc. Piers have been destroyed. I feel sorry for the fools who chose to stay in their home on that island and ride the storm out. They will likely end up dead, or stranded in their attic or roof, with no means of rescue.

We weren’t able to get as much ice as I’d have liked. Only one store is open in town today, and has limited ice to 1 bag per person. So hopefully we won’t lose power for too long. When we do, there will be no means of preparing any cooked meals. We didn’t make too many preparations for this storm, except for batteries and flashlight and water. I wish we had a propane cook-stove, a small charcoal grill, maybe a propane lantern. For sure some plywood for the windows.

Right now we’re watching for our outdoor cat to come around so we can scoop him up and bring him inside for the night. He’s never been inside, and more than likely will act crazy, but I don’t want him outside in those strong winds and torrential rain. I don’t believe any animal should be left outside to weather a hurricane, and especially not left behind when the family evacuates. It’s just not right when they can do nothing to help themselves.

I’ll be sitting here waiting…

Patti

WATCHING AND WAITING

6:30 a.m. Friday, September 12, 2008

It seems that Hurricane IKE has weakened a little bit, and shifted a little to the east, which means we are no longer going to be on the “dirty” side. Therefore, we have decided to stay home and ride out the storm. We spent yesterday afternoon bringing all of the plants inside, storing the garbage cans in the shed, and securing everything that could become airborne. This afternoon we began packing some clothes, food, etc and gathering what we would need to take our pets with us. With 3 dogs and 3 cats, it seems a very big undertaking.

We actually did locate a place to go to in New Braunfels, but with the animals, it would still be difficult. I said all along that I would ride it out as long as it wasn’t any worse than a category 3. Right now, it is a category 2, however it is extremely large. It covers just about the whole of the Gulf of Mexico. That is going to cause the storm surge to be much larger than what would normally be expected for a category 2 or 3. We are far enough inland to not have to worry about the storm surge reaching us. Our concern will be that we are sandwiched between 2 rivers, which could potentially cause our town to be an island if both rivers rise too much. I am hoping for the best case scenario to happen.

So for now, we are at home on Friday morning, listening to the updates on TV, and waiting for the first bands of rain and wind to begin today. Supposedly it will begin around noon, and gradually worsen as the day progresses, with the eye crossing land around 1 or 2 in the morning Saturday, slightly to the east of where we live. I’ll update as long as I can until we lost power.

Hurricane IKE is coming!

Well, it looks like we're not going to manage to avoid IKE coming right at us. I was really hoping to sit right here and ride it out, but it seems that it might not be safe to do so. So now, I am looking for somewhere we can go to and take our animals with us. We're kind of broke right now, so we can't rent a motel room. Most wouldn't take the animals anyway, and I'm sure they are all booked up. So keep us in your prayers that we find somewhere to escape to, and that our house doesn't sustain any damage from the wind and stuff flying around.

When You Have To Let Go

This is a blog written by my friend Colleen:


A young and dear friend of mine lost a teenage friend of hers this past week and is learning how to deal with loss, grief and the sense of something just not being right. In an email to her I shared some of the following but I have modified it for others to understand and have left out the name of the precious friend she is still saying good bye to.

(Please take a moment to pray for those who've had to bury a child way before the normal sequence of life has been fulfilled, tragically, slowly, through war, accidents, disease, etc. ..Pray for those who are friends to them and do not yet understand the bitter feelings of loss and grief.)

When my son died, he, Ian was wearing a seatbelt. It did not save his life. They are designed to HELP save lives. They are not a guarantee. They have to be worn properly and fitted and most of us do not do this. Ian was laying down with the seat reclined...he slid right out of it!

One of the precious gifts that was given to me when Ian died, was the gift that gave me the ability to understand, to really open my heart and "hear", a way to talk, grieve, counsel and communicate with others who are grieving over a child who's sudden death has changed everything forever.

It's not fair and it's not in the right order and we have to learn to accept, and keep going.

(for example:)

When Ian had been gone for about 8 months and we were cleaning out his room of some of the things that were special, we came across a train set and we asked the giver of this set if he wanted it back. He said no, so we asked my father (a train collecter) if he would care to have it and after hanging up on me several times, I could not understand what the problem was. Months later, my father told me what was happening in his mind;

he said, "A grandfather should leave things to his grandchild, not a grandchild leaving things to his grandfather"

This broke my heart but it taught me something else about the timing and the sense of devastation at all levels of the family. There is a normal order of things and when a child passes, it is not normal and therefore much harder to accept.

Those are the two hardest parts...

Accepting and Keep Going

...accepting that you won't be setting a place on the dinner table, or buying the same number of tickets at the football game or seeing a graduation you looked forward to all your life or having a daughter in law, or grandbabies...

...accept....keep going....there are so many others that are counting on the parents strength, especially if there are other siblings to ____....

...accept...they will never again call you to pick them up from a friends house, or ask to borrow the keys, or .....

...accept...that every night when you walk past their bedroom, you will have to look inside just for comfort, you will smell their clothes, you will cry, you will hurt, you will grieve...

...accept....that you will go to visit them every chance you can at the cemetary for many months, years even.

...to keep going, simply means that you have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep going FORWARD...

...as painful as it seems, it will take you out of the depression and denial of a loved one we've had to bury...

...to keep going...means that you have to learn to live with the pain and cherish the memories, the love and the life that once was....

...to keep going...you have to believe you will see the person/child/friend/parent again in heaven...God has promised us that...

...To keep going....you have to let the person go and live the life that you still have in front of you to the very best of your ability...

...to keep going and accept what has happened is not easy but necessary...

...to keep going and to accept a loss of this magnitude will linger in your heart forever in the hole that was left behind....

We can and do and will survive.....I know this may not help any, but I would ask that you share it with any family so that they can/will have hope...

...hope that tomorrow they can actually breath, that they can eat and not feel guilty, that they can smile and know that their child is watching everything they do...

...to wake on a new day and know that all things are in the right place and time according to God's will. It's not fair but it is God's will and accepting that HE does not make bad things happen but he does allow them to happen is hard as well. (I have a very long story that goes with that sentence but I'll spare you.

Their child will long be remembered by all of his/her friends and all of his/her family and those memories will live forever in your hearts. That is an awesome legacy for someone whom we've had to let go of.

On that note, please tell the family this for me:

"My son died, but he is not lost! I know exactly where he is!" He lives with Christ at a new address but he is NOT LOST~

~ I DID NOT LOSE HIM, HE FOUND GOD~

I know losing a friend can be devastating but just to be prayerful for the time that will come for the family in about 4 weeks when everyone goes back to work, or back to "their" normal, this family will not have a "normal" for a year or so.

Wow, I didn't know I had that much to say but there is still more so I'm off of here before I write a book on grief!

©Colleen Cooper 9-01-08




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Love you Colleen!!!