Oh Lord, Not Again!

I'm back home, and thank the Lord my beautiful Amy girl is OK.  She was stopped on Hwy 36 in Brazoria, waiting to make a left turn to go home.  A car coming behind her at full speed ran into the back of her Jeep.  The impact crushed the back end,  spun the Jeep completely around, where it came to rest facing the opposite direction clear on the other side of the intersection.   The hinges/brackets on her driver seat were broken and the seat was jammed all the way back.  The frame was buckled up, bending and jamming the doors every which way.  Her fiance' Albert was traveling 2 or 3 cars behind her.  He had gotten stopped at a traffic light, and as he approached the turn off, he saw something was going on.  Then her saw their Jeep all mashed up in the wrong lane facing the wrong way.  He stopped and ran to her, and she was yelling  get me out of here.  Neither of the doors would open, so he pulled her out of the driver window.  I pulled up about that time,  and had to walk forever to get to them.  I had no idea if she was badly hurt, in the ambulance or what.  When I saw her standing upright, I burst into tears and  grabbed her.  I was so freakin' relieved!  Remarkably, she is OK.  Her face and eye are bruised and swelling.  Her neck, arm and chest are very sore.  She declined ambulance transport, and yes, I fussed at her for that.  I know she's going to be hurting worse tomorrow.   I was scared to death when I got that call -  memories of my nephew's accident still very fresh in my mind.   Thank you to everyone who sent up prayers.  My God is good!   Too much has been happening lately, and I'm plumb worn out...

To Carry or Not to Carry - That is the Question!

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Here is another well written article from Robert Heckler that is designed to make you think about that weapon you are carrying or may be thinking about carrying as a CHL holder. Give it a read. I think that you will find it very interesting since it comes from a cop's point of view. (like to author's facebook page at bottom)

To Carry or Not to Carry. That is the Question!

Because of my background as a law enforcement officer, People often ask my opinion as to what gun they should buy to carry concealed. This question is asked by both men and women but mostly it is the women that ask it. The other question people usually ask me is “If I buy a gun, would you mind helping learn how to shoot it correctly?” My response to that question is always “of course I will!” But when confronted with these questions, regardless if it is male or female, young or old, I always respond by asking them a question. “Are you prepared to kill someone?” When I first started asking that question, I anticipated a much different response than what I usually get. Especially from the female shooters. I hear “Well, I am not trying to kill anyone, I just want to scare them away!” By asking this question hundreds of times to people and getting a variety of responses from them, my opinion is of that a large majority of those wishing to carry a concealed weapon do indeed have the same mindset. They only want to scare them off.

First off. I am very much pro concealed carry and honestly believe an armed society is definitely a polite one. However, those that do carry these weapons must be of the mindset to be willing to use the weapon they carry. If you are not prepared to draw that weapon, squeeze the trigger and remove someone’s life from their body, then you need to get yourself a Taser or can of pepper spray. If you are not willing to use your gun but still present it to an offender, you have now put yourself at a much greater risk than you were before you pulled your weapon.

We have all heard of the fight or flight response. When placed into a high stress situation your animal instincts kick in to survive and you have to decide at that second whether to engage in the fight or flee. Well, criminals do that same exact thing. Their human nature is to survive, just as yours is. More often than not though, criminals commit their crimes without killing anyone. The homicide to assault rate has a very wide margin. A criminal out to commit a crime may have no intentions whatsoever of killing you. But if you pull out a gun, he or she will go into fight or flight mode and do what they have to do to survive. No matter how wrong they are or how right you are. It is the way it is. If you skin that smoke wagon of yours and you are not prepared to use it, they very well may now skin theirs and be willing to use it. They may well sense that you are not willing to use your weapon and attack you with the intention of taking it away from you so that they can use it on you now as a means for them to survive.

9 times out of 10, the offender may scream and scurry away at the site of your gun. But then, that tenth time might just be the time a violator with no intentions of killing, sees your gun as a paper weight in your hands and decides to call your bluff.

A gun is a deadly force option. If you are not prepared to use deadly force. Then you need to get yourself a non lethal option. Gun fighting is not for everyone, but for those of us who wear the title proudly, we know that the mind is the most important aspect of any gun battle.

So, if you already carry, are looking to carry, or have even thought about carrying, ask this question to yourself or to your friend. Before you go and buy a gun, are you prepared to use it in defense of yourself or someone else? Are you prepared to pull the trigger and render a human being lifeless? If there is any question or hesitation, or if your answer is an outright no, then hang up your gun and / or tell them not to buy one. Go buy a Taser or stun gun instead.

For those that have made the decisions to carry and strap on the tools of freedom everyday; I commend you sheepdog. For you have taken on a great responsibility protecting yourself and the flock.

Train hard, train real, train safe.

About Robert Heckler:Robert has been working in the profession of arms for over a decade now. Serving as a SGT in the United States Army Infantry, he served 12 months in Baghdad, Iraq in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom II. After leaving the military he entered the field of law enforcement and works as a Patrol Deputy for a small county in the gulf coast of Texas. Robert specializes in less lethal, firearms, and tactical operations. Currently holds an advanced peace officers license and an advanced SWAT certification instructor, firearms instructor certification as well as instructor certifications in multiple less lethal applications. He also holds a Bachelors degree in Criminal Justice Management as well as EMT and fire certifications.
https://www.facebook.com/robert.heckler.10?fref=ts

It Is Well

My journey to where I am today has been a long, hard exhausting one.  If it were not for the influence of my Daddy, and his Godly teaching, I don't believe I would be a functioning individual. 

My Daddy had such a heart for God and people.  Everyone loved him, for he was a kind and gentle soul.  I am so thankful that I never knew the harsh hand of a father.  He taught me more by example than anything else.  I walked the straight and narrow, not out of fear, but because I did not want to disappoint my Daddy.

From a very early age, he taught me to persevere, and never give up on my dreams.  He taught me to rely fully on God, trusting Him to walk with me through every trial I would face, knowing that He would carry me through it, and I would be stronger and wiser for it. 

I learned how to put aside my shy, meek, and mild nature, and instead put on confidence and strength,  and to believe in myself.  I learned that I could do anything I wanted, but that it might sometimes require hard work on my part. 

My Daddy passed on to me a heart for God, a heart  for helping others, and a heart for changing lives.  This I learned by his fine example.  I don't strive for greatness.  I don't care to stand out.  I just want to know that I made a difference, if even a very small one.

One of my most precious memories of my Daddy is when his Alzheimer's Disease had become very advanced.  He was not able to communicate with us.  The words simply would not come to him.  Most days he didn't even know who we were.  I took him to church one Sunday.  He sat there lost, not knowing where he belonged.  And then the congregation began singing one of his favorite hymns, "It Is Well With My Soul."  As he listened to them sing, my Daddy suddenly stood to his feet,  raised his eyes toward heaven, and  sang along.  He sang every single word of that song, never missing a beat.  He knew where his help came from and he knew where his strength came from.   Though his mind was deteriorating, his spirit was not. 

This was the most important lesson he taught me -  that no matter what hardships came my way, no matter what I desired to accomplish in my life - I would be able to do so as long as I listened to that still, quiet voice whispering in my ear, saying that whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, It is well, it is well with my soul...

So you think I'm a weak person. What is it that you even know about me that would make you form that opinion? Surely by now you're figuring out that you can't believe everything, or even anything that comes out of that person's mouth. We all have those people in our lives who will say whatever it takes to make themselves look good and the other person look bad. Fortunately I don't have to deal with that directly anymore, but I'm still dealing with it indirectly.

Yes, I may have been a weak person at one time, but not for a bad reason. I was weak, because I chose to have faith in God to intervene on behalf of my family. But God won't make anyone be obedient to Him. I was weak because I believed in love and I believed in marriage enough to stick with it, and pray, and wait for him to decide that someone besides himself mattered. I was weak because I desperately wanted to protect my child from the truth of his infidelities, and from the pain of having her parents split up. I was weak because it took me so long to finally give up. I gave up because of that last phone call I received.

If all of those things made me weak, then I wore that label proudly. But I am no longer weak. That weakness made me strong. And wise. I am strong. I am nothing like the shell of a person I was before.

So think about things before you form those negative opinions of me. And PLEASE do not speak those negative words over my daughter.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NIV

GRATEFUL For The Life I Live...

I recently had to move into my 85 y/o mother's house to help take care of her.  At the time this came about, it was the last thing I wanted to do.   I had left a bad relationship, and l was living on my own, paying my own bills, without a husband, for the first time ever.  I was learning to live all over again, learning who I was all over again.  Solitude was my friend.
Reluctantly, I packed everything up and moved back home.  I've been here for 3 months now.   In my bedroom I have my favorite recliner, my big-screen TV, and my big comfy bed.  It's a place where I can still have my solitude, but be close by if Mom needs me.   I have enjoyed having someone nearby, in the same house with me.  I never realized how lonely and depressed I felt, sitting there all alone in my apartment.
There were many devastating things that happened over the last few years, and I have battled frustration, depression, hopelessness, and despair.  I truly felt like I might never know happiness again.
As I sit in my recliner, reflecting on my life now, I realize that I am truly happy.  I am content with my circumstances.  I feel hope for my future.  I see so many things in myself that I'd almost lost sight of.   It is a wonderful feeling to wake up with joy every day - and for that, I am GRATEFUL!

He Had Not Forgotten Me

The darkest most painful time in my life - I had lost all sense of direction and control,

- lost all sense of who I was, or who i was becoming.

I realized a loss that was so very deep - a cavern of sorrow, 

and there was nothing to fill it.

I had literally lost myself in all of the brokenness,

drowning in a senseless despair that brought me to my knees,

as I grieved for the person that I once was, before my soul was so damaged - 

as I grieved for the loss of my self-respect, and my sense of well-being.

And all the while my heart cried out to God for strength:

to endure, to understand, to not be broken beyond repair - 

for I feared that I was.

There was nowhere I belonged, nowhere I fit in, nowhere I was wanted - 

no part of me that was worthy of being loved by anyone.

I can't forget all of the tears I cried, all of the questions I asked,

of a God who was no longer there.

I begged and pleaded for deliverance from the thoughts that plagued me. 

I wanted to be free of the pain.  I wanted to smile again.

And then, I began to free myself from all of it,

by taking just one step forward, in the right direction -

letting my heart guide me towards that freedom that I longed for.

I made my way down that precarious path, yet  I was afraid.

But I pushed on, drawing from a strength that was inside of me,

that I didn't know I still possessed. 

And yes,  I was still breathing, my heart was still beating -

I WAS ALIVE AND WHOLE.

I began to listen with my heart and my spirit,

and I began to rest in Him.

And then I realized  that I had never had to beg,  

I only had to listen,and take that step forward. 

I WAS THEN ABLE TO SEE WHO I WAS IN HIM.  I SAW MYSELF AS HE SAW ME.  

I once again began to see my value, my strength, my beauty, my intelligence,

my abilities, my normalcy, my WORTHINESS - and  my UN-BROKENNESS...

AND I LIKED WHAT I SAW.

That love, that worthiness, that beauty I was able to see in myself?  

It was reflected outward to others.  

It opened a window to my soul, that others were able to look through,

and see who I was on the inside, as well as the outside.  

It allowed the Light inside of me to shine forth, and others saw that Light.   

And the blessings began to flow...

I love who I am, and who I am becoming.  

Everything is falling into place the way it should be,

and I can't wait to see what the future holds for me.

I will never regret that pain and hurt that I have endured,

The hell that I have been through.  

NEVER.

For it is what has paved the way for me to become the person I am today -

much better, much stronger, much wiser.

That suffering and despair - it brought me to a place of  healing, of restoration,

of strength, of wisdom, of joy, and of peace -

and I am grateful for it,for it was through that suffering that I realized - 

HE HAD NOT FORGOTTEN ME...