Breaking Free Update - Feb 11, 2008

Originally posted February 11, 2008

Tomorrow marks 4 weeks since I quit smoking.  I have not failed - I have not even cheated one time.  I started out taking the Chantix  1 week before my quit date.  It is designed to help with the physical cravings, by blocking the nicotine receptors in your brain.  During the first week before I quit, I noticed I was smoking less without even trying, so it must work somehow. 

At the end of that week, I sat outside at my table and savored my very last cigarette at midnight.  I felt truly sad that I would never again enjoy the feel of pulling that smoke into my lungs, or the taste (yes taste) of that cigarette (how misguided I was).  I tried to make the cigarette last as long as possible.

 If I hadn't been so sleepy, I probably would have sat outside and smoked the rest of the pack.  As it was, I was completely exhausted and could hardly keep my eyes open.  So I put the cigarette out, and went inside.  I set the pack of cigarettes and lighter by my husband's coffee pot, as he had promised to discard them when he got up.  I didn't have the heart to do so myself.  Then I went to bed.

The very next day, I got up, knowing right away there would be no waking up cigarette, but that was ok.  The cigarettes were gone, the ashtray was gone, no evidence anywhere. 

But then the temptations  began.  For the first 3 or 4 days, I did feel some physical cravings, but they weren't very bad.  What REALLY got to me was the habitual behaviors connected with smoking a cigarette.  Waking up, after a meal, while driving, while playing cards, etc.  Every situation connected with smoking a cigarette (which is basically anytime I'm not inside my house.) 

However, it is true - each day is easier than the one before.  I found that when I was really wanting a cigarette, I just made myself immediately think of something else, and found something  to do to take my mind off of it.  That's what I've done every day. 

I have a support website that I log in to every day, and it has a spot where you chart your level of cravings.  I started out at a 9 for a few days, then it gradually began to decline.  For the last week, I have been at 3 and 2.  When I finished my first month of Chantix last week, I decided I really didn't need to pay $120 for another prescription, because I've been doing so well.  I'm doing great without the pills.  My physical cravings are almost non-existant.  My mental cravings are declining rapidly.  Although I will fondly remember the pleasure of smoking a cigarette, I will never, ever pick one up again to smoke.  And that's a promise to my family and friends.