My Heart's Desire

This is something that came to me in the middle of the night, when I couldn’t sleep. 

 

MY HEART’S DESIRE

 

Now that I am grown
With a family of my own
The "lessons" that you taught me
Are starting to hit home.

 

Never show your feelings
Never lose your pride
Don’t open up to anyone
It’s easier to hide.

 

Never say "I love you"
It might make you seem weak
How I long to hear the words
That you refuse to speak.

 

"A job well done" - that won’t be said
Neither will "I’m proud of you"
Your hug withheld forever
It’s all you know to do.

 

I never will be good enough
to hear you say my name
To tell me I’m all you’d ever want
I guess you’d think that lame.

The hole that’s left inside of me
Somehow I cannot fill
I don’t know what it is I need
To make your love seem real.

 

It’s made me who I am today
Though "who" I cannot say
I want to be someone I’m not
I want to find my way.

 

My heart will keep on hurting
As the thoughts aside I shove
I’ll always go on seeking
To find my mother’s love.

Copyright 2008 Patti Phillips